You may wonder why you keep getting ghosted after a few dates. Maybe it's not that you can't start a relationship, but that you find that you can't sustain a relationship. To you, it must be that the "guys" are the ones with the problems, and of course, it takes two to tango. You may be doing things that signal to your potential partners and partners that you're a hot mess. You may not even be "so messy" but may instead have learned bad relationship and life habits . But it may be that you're really a mess and don't even realize it.

1. You don't know how to communicate.

If you're that woman whose texting habits range from constant to distant, you're giving guys the impression that you're not really into them and you're clearly playing him and other men. 

2. You are in the habit of canceling and rescheduling. 

Can't get a grip on your schedule? If you're constantly scheduling dates and then canceling, only to reschedule, your dates think you are a hot mess and a big fat flake. To you, it's just that life is hectic or you're juggling a lot; to him, it's that you can't get your act together.

3. You breakup and makeup with your friends.

Are you always on the "outs" with friends? To guys, that portrays a lot of drama that they never want to hear about. Of course, we ladies do have our flaws, but if a guy looks at your friends list and sees that you don't have many friends or that you're fighting daily with them — or worse, you're friends with other women who bring on the drama — he'll think you're a hot mess with a capital M.

4. When you are only bent on just your decision and no one else's. 


5. You impulse shop.

You can't keep a dollar in your pocket to save your life, and even when you're broke you're somehow spending like there's no tomorrow — and on the most frivolous of things. You complain about paying rent and then go out and buy a new outfit "just because."

6. You drink in excess.

It's cute when you drunk text him the first time, but the second time? This is a sign you're a hot mess. He's also wondering whom else you drunk text and how much you drink. It's even worse when he takes you out and you drink so much that he has to bring you home. I'm sorry, girl, but guys really don't want to take care of you in that way. You look like a big mess.

7.You are slow to forgive.

You two get in a fight and he apologizes and you accept that apology. But then, you act like the Cold War is upon the two of you. You're distant. You're chilly. You accept the apology, but really you haven't. You act passive-aggressively. You throw the incident in his face constantly. Even if it's something worth being mad about, when you accept the apology you have to let it go to some degree. When you are not capable of doing so, you look like an emotional mess.

8.You get into unnecessary fights. 

 When you always want to get into any fight, publicly.  Men don't like drama, so when you decide to make the drama loud and public, he runs — not walks — away from you.


9. Your carelessness . 

10. Your less communication with your family. You seem to always want to be too far away from them. 

Do you ever get along with your family? Even for a minute? If you genuinely have a rough family, a man will understand, but if you are constantly at war with them and don't know how to disengage from their drama, he doesn't like it. It's a sign you're a hot mess and are incapable of protecting yourself from toxic people.

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